Kilpy Kelly Corrigan:Well you know, its so funny. I mean, that means shes with them. How does change actually happen? You are in good company. Make the magic happen. Playlist. Its really wonderful to learn more about you and hear the ways youve connected with Kate and the book. Kelly Corrigan is the best-selling author of "Tell Me More: Stories about the 12 Hardest Things I'm Learning to Say," and a proud graduate of the University of Richmond. Her memoirs include " The Middle Place," and her first children's. And the potted plant theory, I cant credit it to someone, Im sorry, I dont know who put it out there, but the idea is that if you were to have a plant in your kitchen, you might not be aware of it at all, and then if someone were to remove it, youd say What happened to that plant?. Its going to be great. Kelly Corrigan:Its like a game changer. This episode was wonderful, wasnt it? Kelly Corrigan:And so I didnt do it. I was so mad that I shook the cage a bit, that hamster eating its sibling. Click here for discussion questions for this podcast episode. Kelly Corrigan:Ah, it was so terrible. I mean, its a little bit like, Just keep saying yes. You know, When in doubt, say Sure, Ill do that, just to see what happens next, just to see who you might meet. Kelly Corrigan:Dont get crumbs on the baby. Theres a title. Kelly Corrigan:So, my dad died in February, and then my friend Liz, whos the mother of three kids, 8, 10, and 12 at the time, died that December. Kate Bowler:Yeah. The Best Show with Tom Scharpling. Gratefully, The words we speak, and the words spoken over us. I absolutely love that phrase. Kelly Corrigan:But you know, if Im jumping in with my fancy solution two and a half minutes in, I just cut you off, and then we leave each other, and I have this little high like, Ah, I just really helped her, and she walks away thinking, She didnt hear anything I said. I mean, Im totally coming to see you. Kelly Corrigan Wonders on RadioPublic Labels like chronic illness, or caregiver, or widow, or mom of a kid with special needs. Kate Bowler:Absolutely. Jennifer Garner tells Kelly Corrigan how she inspires others to find their true passions. A former newspaper columnist and four time bestselling author, Kelly wonders about loads of stuff: is knowing more always good? Kate Bowler:Yeah. I went into this tiny bathroom in Baltimore in our office building, and just cried my eyes out, and it wasnt even because she died. Follow Kate on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. Just get in the mix, get in the line of fire. Surely, my friend, my lost and lovely friend, called for new words. Kelly Corrigan:I never came up with any combination that came close to the feeling. Ten days before I was scheduled to defend my dissertation, English Policies, Curricular Reform and Teacher Development in Multilingual, Post-colonial Djibouti, I got the call. Kelly Corrigan:I sat at my dining room table, which is place I never write, and I thought, Oh my God, of course I know exactly what this is. Rocky is family, and we dont sell family, I replied. Despair defies description. Im so glad youve been plugging in and hope to keep hearing your feedback! I hope you continue sharing your thoughts and joining in the conversation! Welcome to Kelly Corrigan Wonders, a place for people who like to laugh while they think and find it useful to look closely at ourselves and our weird ways in the hopes that knowing more and feeling more will help us do more and be better. Whos going to do this? Kate Bowler:My life doesnt exactly fit into neat categories anymore. Kelly Corrigan:So, my husband worked at a startup in San Francisco, which is called Medium, and its a writing platform, and as a writer, I was welcome to come, and use their office space, and its everything you think a San Francisco startup is. Thank you for this. Like the other day when I was being wheeled into a procedure, the nurse looked at my chart, and then casually said, Colon cancer. Id say that there is definitely such a thing as a questioning Christian. Now a cognitive scientist and podcaster, Maya grew up immersed in the . Kelly Corrigan:I didnt die. Kelly Corrigan, Author - Brief but Spectacular | PBS NewsHour You say something thats so weird cause I say it all the time, so when I read it I thought, Did you reach inside my brain? You adopted the phrase, Onward as a bit of a motto. Inspiring and thought-provoking interviews conducted by bestselling author Kelly Corrigan. Im so compassionate to that thing that happens every time you tell someone that you had cancer, which is the other person trying to figure out why its not going to happen to them as fast as possible. You also realized there was incredible parenting magic in the phrase, Tell me more. So, what is this witchcraft you speak of? The idea that any day could be this huge day, I dont know, that really gets me out of bed, you know? So, Dont eat a hamster is our version of Dont jump to conclusions.. Ask the dancers, and the athletes, the painters, and musicians. A phrase that I heard at a recent Pecha Kucha talk from a woman who had come through a terrible health crisis was Its like this now. Kate Bowler:You and I are super chatty people, but you make an amazing pitch for silence, and I am all for it, because everyone always had these go-to things to say with me like, You can do it, or Youre so brave, and all the things that made me feel like I was on the other side of plexiglass. Michael Lewis on What Makes Some People Irreplaceable. The words we speak, and the words spoken over us. Use one of the services below to sign in to PBS: You've just tried to add this video to My List. Kate Bowler:Theres this other phrase, I was wrong, that has real power, and you learned that in a really intense way when your grandma died. Stay healthy. Onward, my dears. 5-Minute Listen. Kelly Corrigan Wonders Weekly series started Oct. 4, 2020. Kelly Corrigan:So, my dad died in February, and then my friend Liz, whos the mother of three kids, 8, 10, and 12 at the time, died that December. Kelly Corrigan Wonders podcast - Listen online for free Minds dont rest. I didnt make her final days one bit better, and I lived there for two years. Kelly Corrigan:The magic of Tell me more is you start telling me what youre upset about, and I fall for the first thing you say, and I start solving for that. with Kelly Corrigan When bestselling author Kelly Corrigan experienced the death of her dad and dear friend back-to-back, she couldn't shake the feeling that she wasn't living as gratefully as she wanted to. Kelly shares her own "go to" mantra as well as two blessings from frequent Kelly Corrigan Wonders guest Kate Bowler and her co-author/friend/podcast producer Jessica Richie's beautiful and extremely useful book: The Lives We Actually Have (100 Blessings for Imperfect Days). Team Everything Happens, Kate, Tell Me More with Kelly Corrigan | Michael Lewis | Season 5 | Episode 1 Hosted by four-time New York Times bestselling author Kelly Corrigan, the show dives deep into each guests life to pull out poignant lessons they hope others can use to find their own calling or better understand themselves. Youre giving these beautiful phrases, and each of them feels like a kind of roadmap, and you start with one that really resonated deeply with me. Kelly Corrigan:I never came up with any combination that came close to the feeling. Kate Bowler:You put in a strong argument, if I may say it like that, for just being close to one another. Forever? May you find Christ, comfort, and companions amidst the questions! In this season of "Tell Me More," listen to one-on-one conversations with musical icons like Jewel and Lang Lang, community leaders like Del Seymour, entertainment heavyweights like Constance Wu and Michael Lewis, scientists like Maya Shankar, and more. The idea that we just sort of wander around, consume things until we die, like were just a series of small appetites without any deep, rich, meaningful, satisfying connection. Kate Bowler: I'm Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. You know, I honestly think I only say Im sorry, and not, I was wrong. I think I might try it. Take Care Kate, Dont worry, and she said, Well, my problem is I cant zip my dress by myself, so I thought if it was a woman, I could ask her to come in, and zip my dress, and I thought, Thats the tiny moments that are so gut-wrenching for a new widow. (As consciously lesbian from about four-years old, believe it or not, I preferred handsome to pretty.) Go get mixed up in something. I mean, people are getting colon cancer at your age all the time. Thats where relationship lives is in these tiny moments, and whether you are cognizant of that and tuned into that channel all the time, or not, that is the story of a relationship. I dont have the genetic predisposition. Kelly Corrigan:You dont always need such a plan, or an agenda, or whatever. They hate it. It was because I had been selfish, and my dad caught me. I mean, its a little bit like, Just keep saying yes. You know, When in doubt, say Sure, Ill do that, just to see what happens next, just to see who you might meet. Nobody who is between identities they can tolerate does, it seems to me something Ive actively struggled with and expect to go hand to hand with again, whether tomorrow or the day after. After the potency of the crime metaphor wore off, I turned to the vocabulary of religion. This forgetting, this slide into smallness, this irritability in shame, this disorienting grief Its like this. But the fact is if I said, Tell me more, go on, what else, youd say the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing, and it would be like the thing behind the thing, behind the thing is where really the pain is, and if I had waited way longer, I wouldve been able to say, Oh, I understand.. You surely know about hard times, and I love that you are continuing to show up every day. It doesnt end, and also you cant live there. He had things to do for days, and days, and days, and eulogies to write, and people to hug, and people to thank, and accounts to close, and cars to sell, and he had work to do, both emotional and just literally logistics. Kilpy Ryland shined brightly - especially in the darkest places. For Dr. White was the first person who ever told Michael he could write. Kate Bowler:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kate Bowler:Well, the quote that really resonated with me is when you said, They are moving onward, not away from you, but with you. Kelly Corrigan:I was perhaps proud about it honestly, and I was reading 7 Habits of Highly Effective People at night with my big fat yellow highlighter, and I was really full of attachment to this identity that I had painted for myself. One of the hardest things Ive been wrestling with is not having any clear language for this weird place between sick and healthy, weak and strong. We were living in Damascus, Syria, and whenever one of us asked for something Mom and Dad couldnt afford, Dad would say Allah Kareem. In Arabic, Allah means God. Many of you listen to Kelly Corrigan who WFS brought to Charlotte in October 2021. Kelly Corrigan:Now maybe Im going to go to Durham, and now maybe Im going to get my PhD in Divinity. In, warm, insightful, often funny conversations, Kate talks with people about what they've. Were just a series of days and interactions. So, Dont eat a hamster is our version of Dont jump to conclusions.. I dont know. Its probably cause of something youve been eating. As many of our listeners know, Kelly has a dear cousin, Kathy, who turns up, one way or another, in all of Kelly's books. Maybe I dont have to be good, but I can try to be least a little better then Ive been so far., Riham:Our family motto is Allah Kareem. A witty, insightful podcast in search of the big "Yes!" The gap between being inspired and entertained just got smaller. Kelly also hosts her own podcast Kelly Corrigan Wonders, which she describes as a "place for people who like to laugh while they think." On the podcast, she tackles a different question every month in a series of weekly conversations with some of her favorite thinkers. She totally doesnt get it. Were jumping in way too soon and talking way too much. Best, Dont worry, and she said, Well, my problem is I cant zip my dress by myself, so I thought if it was a woman, I could ask her to come in, and zip my dress, and I thought, Thats the tiny moments that are so gut-wrenching for a new widow. I was wrong not to try to ease her days in some way.. I think people think that if you have a diagnosis, or somethings happened to you that you should know because youre proof of it. You talk about not having good language for your current state. Kelly Corrigan:Thats not a headline anybody wants to read. For awhile, Id say shed been robbed, or ripped off. As Teri said, He didnt have a drug problem, he had a life problem. I mean, maybe I was projecting, maybe whatever he said in that moment, maybe if he had said peanut butter, and jelly, wed be talking about peanut butter and jelly, but it totally resonated for me in the way that a song lyric does where youre like, I dont know what that means exactly, but Im going to write that down, and put it in my wallet, and its interesting. Im sorry to ask about the hard part, but would you mind telling me what happened? Kate Bowler:Yeah. Kelly Corrigan:Well you know, sometimes the trivial is tragic. What do we do when the labels we're given aren't necessarily the ones we choose for ourselves? Kelly has also agreed to be my friend as part of her contractual commitment to this podcast. I was healthy, and then I was sick, and now Im feeling pretty good, and even though the language around immunotherapy isnt perfect, I can happily say that I am in remission. Kate Bowler:Yeah. I was wrong not to go visit her. I was wrong. Im coming. Youre going to slide around, you know, youre going to deserve your life a little more some days than others. Im sorry to ask about the hard part, but would you mind telling me what happened? Kelly Corrigan:Youre feeling like ABC, not DEF. So thats the beauty of it. Kelly Corrigan:You cant be in the world, and get through your to-do list, and also sit in endless, rich gratitude. So, todays conversation is about developing language to move us forward when life is well, chronic. Download. I heard your friend died, and I just couldnt bear to call them back. Then I wanted to get right with him, and urgently. RELATED LINKS Try this episode's happiness practice: 36 Questions for Increasing Closeness Read Kelly Corrigan's new book, Tell Me More Transcript You can watch this episode of Tell Me More anytime at pbs.org/kelly.Thank you also to the Lafayette Library and Learning Center. Im so sorry youre not going to like any of my answers. Kelly Corrigan:One that Ive always liked is, Things happen when you leave the house. I think I like the sense of theres something out there that you can tap into. Thanks For Being Here Mary Hope's Letter Introducing Alex. Ask anyone who has participated in a moment of silence. I think earn is such a good word, because youre talking about such a complicated math. I end up saying to my therapy clients, to my friends, and to my daughter both Change is hard and the stage-specific version of CIH, Middles are awful. Middles are awful: we have to either find language for an ambiguous state or give up on finding it: hard, sweaty work. I go, Oh, thank you for that bit of suggestion.. Kelly has also agreed to be my friend as part of her contractual commitment to this podcast. Shed do anything. I even use it at the end of lectures like, Hey, this is the end of the 19th century. Inspiring and thought-provoking interviews conducted by author Kelly Corrigan. Kelly Corrigan:Like, almost every time Im sure that if you just let me take over, I can make this problem go away. This is one of the most moving and important conversations weve ever shared and we thank PBS for supporting this work as well as the Lafayette Library and Learning Center for hosting the shoot. I went into this tiny bathroom in Baltimore in our office building, and just cried my eyes out, and it wasnt even because she died. I went to see her one time. Kate Bowler:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Im like, Yeah, right. She lives in Philly and I live in California. Theres meatless Mondays, and theres a kombucha bar, and theres nap pods. Now, eleven years post-cancer, Im still learning to show up and be of use in my life, my marriage, my family and my work for the display of His splendor. Corrigan and her guests dig into such questions as "Is knowing more always . Kelly Corrigan:I know, me too. Its the only way to keep the last bit of sanity. I mean, Im totally coming to see you. You wrote about the end of words. This is the way this has to be, and its right there. Lives dont last. Kate Bowler:Yeah, I believe you. Kate Bowler:Those ordinary consonants and vowels that, when strung together, offer meaning and points of entry for others. It was the very last thing that I wrote, and you may be able to relate to this, theres always one part of a book that writes itself, at least for me, where its like, I guess Ive been thinking about this long enough, I guess Ive been living this long enough that its all kind of been subconsciously forming, and now Im just about taking dictation here, and thats the way that was. I love your style and all your guests are fascinating to listen to with so much insight and knowledge. Kate Bowler:Yeah. One is called Yesterday and the other is called Tomorrow. I didnt engage with her. Theres meatless Mondays, and theres a kombucha bar, and theres nap pods. Michael Lewis sends his thanks to Dr. Arthur White, a former history teacher at Isidore Newman School in New Orleans, Louisiana, for kicking him in class whenever hed fall asleep. Were just a series of days and interactions. Team Everything Happens, Hi Kate, Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. When I read that, I just kept thinking of how scared Ive been about what I call being a zombie. Kelly Corrigan:So, she had to call someone and ask them to come over and zip her dress so she could go to the wedding. At a time when so much feels unex Kelly kicks off a new series on BELIEF, delving into topics like the meaning of life, finding purpose, why faith, service and gratitude matter, and more with Dr. MIchael Murray, former Philosophy Professor and current President & CEO of the Arthur Vining Davis Foundations . This interview is perfection. Each episode in Season 5 of "Tell Me More" will leave you hopeful and with a few more tools in your kit to craft the life you want. Thats where its at. She lives in Philly and I live in California. Kelly Corrigan:I mean, unless youre a monk, and youre meditating for 60 days in a mountain somewhere. Okay, but Im just telling you those kids are waking up every day without her, and theyre going to keep being without her forever. Kelly Corrigan:And how do we earn it? Kate Bowler:I do think people offer certainties when they think that youre proof of something that scares them, and they cant just live in the uncertainty of not knowing for a minute. Kelly Corrigan:Dont get crumbs on the baby. Theres a title. Take care, Tell Me More with Kelly Corrigan | Maya Shankar | Season 5 | Episode 4 A former newspaper columnist and four time bestselling . Michael Lewis and Kelly Corrigan in Lafayette, CA. Over 50 & Flourishing with Dominique Sachse. She plans to give it to her daughter, who graduates from high school in June.. And she said, Kelly, Im going to try to do the Uber to this wedding, and I was wondering if you can request a woman, and I said, No you cant, but you can trust it. Kellys guest is actress and author Constance Wu - you may know her from her roles in the breakthrough tv show Fresh Off the Boat and the blockbuster film Crazy, Rich Asians. Kelly Corrigan:So, I get it, but I spend a lot of time with them, and Im madly in love with them, really, really have this deep, incredible connection with them that I just value so much, and they are in her, and you know, theyre everything that was so important to her. Maybe you want to borrow one of Kellys like, Its like this, but youre totally welcome to borrow my familys motto: Dont let the turkeys get you down. Its tried and true. Kelly Corrigan Wonders: Everything Happens for a - Apple Podcasts I mean, people are getting colon cancer at your age all the time. A Way to Make Work More Meaningful (The Science of Maya Shankars Plus One is Christy Warren, a former first responder with 25 years of experience in the field. Kindly, Team Everything Happens. Shed do anything. Its the motto I live by when my opportunities are too big, and my capacity and capabilities too small. Im hearing all the music, Im totally tuned in to the right channel, and then just like that, I slip into those mundane irritants., Kelly Corrigan:And then I catch myself, and then I feel this sense of shame, and he said, Its like this. Its so that they can identify some critical difference between you and them that makes them feel like they can exhale again. Im hearing all the music, Im totally tuned in to the right channel, and then just like that, I slip into those mundane irritants., Kelly Corrigan:And then I catch myself, and then I feel this sense of shame, and he said, Its like this. Kate Bowler:Getting back to life has been really tricky. Kelly Corrigan:Hey, thanks for having me. Kelly Corrigan:And thats the truth. For every graduate from kindergarten to PhDs -- but especially the kids Kelly Corrigan:Hearts dont idle. You are everywhere they are., Kelly Corrigan:I really believe that, even though Im skeptical, and Im mad at people who say, Her spirits still here, and stuff. Kelly Corrigan:And how do we earn it? Dont misread this, my mother was a loving woman, but she passed on this legacy, this painful legacy shed been burdened with, that women should take up as little space as possible, risk as little as possible, and hide our lights lest we make fools of ourselves. Dalai Lama XIV, Cheryl, The things we tell ourselves and each other are so important, arent they? Kilpy Its all this cumulative effect of a thousand minuscule moments. Kilpy The Big Short, Moneyball, Liars Poker, these stories stand for whole industries because Michael Lewis puts just the right protagonist in the center. She died this morning, and I was just sick to my stomach. So, I grew up with this sentence with my fathers voice in my head saying, Allah Kareem, God is generous., Cheryl:Our family motto is, Dont eat a hamster. Phrases like I dont know, I was wrong, and one of my favorites, Its like this. After a College Applicant Hits 'Send' - The New York Times Sometimes, were just lacking a bit of language. So Kelly, welcome. Okay, but Im just telling you those kids are waking up every day without her, and theyre going to keep being without her forever. (To be fair, Ive loved all that I have listened to). I absolutely love that phrase. So, maybe when life is chronic, we all need some sayings to anchor us, our very own mottos that guide us through. On days when I feel overwhelmed, I tell myself all I need to do is maintain the faith and exit with grace. Kelly Corrigan Wonders: Kelly's Gratitude List on Apple Podcasts So, I grew up with this sentence with my fathers voice in my head saying, Allah Kareem, God is generous., Cheryl:Our family motto is, Dont eat a hamster. In fact Im in the middle of reading both of your books right now. Kelly Corrigan:Thanks. Kelly Corrigan:Have you ever heard that potted plant theory? Advice to graduates: Just ask questions Suddenly, just showing up was in question. Hosted by Tom Scharpling and featuring celebrity guests, music, callers, and plenty of surprises, The Best Show streams live every Tuesday night on Twitch at 6pm PT and is available on your podcast apps the next day. I love your book and your honesty as I keep questioning everything. Neal Brennan and Kelly Corrigan have a conversation in NYC. She reflects on her love and loss through ordinary moments and everyday sayings. Kate Bowler:Words matter. Each episode ends with a special Plus One segment, in which guests are invited to thank those that have supported them along their journey. I was wrong not to go visit her. 'Think Twice' podcast examines Michael Jackson's legacy : NPR One of the hardest things Ive been wrestling with is not having any clear language for this weird place between sick and healthy, weak and strong. Kelly mentions the Potted Plant Theory of Parenting. No one understands what makes a character sing better than Michael Lewis. He shares what draws him to people, how he writes them into stories and how openness and vulnerability are key elements to finding a strong character. We had several hamsters in one cage, and they can be cannibalistic, and one morning a hamster was missing, and another hamster had a suspiciously large tummy. Okay, great. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. Best, My mom called me maybe three months after my dad died. Kate Bowler:Todays episode is brought to you by our partners, North Carolina Public Radio WUNC, the Lilly Endowment, The Issachar Fund, The John Templeton Foundation, Faith and Leadership: An Online Learning Resource, and Duke Divinity School, and of course, Beverly Abel, Jessica Richie, and Be the Change Revolutions. I love it that it gives up perfectionism, and it just says, Hey, whats possible today?. Kate Bowler:Well, I accept. For our weekly dose of wonder, NPR learns about glorious sounds chicken make at a very important moment in their . After the potency of the crime metaphor wore off, I turned to the vocabulary of religion. I dont have the genetic predisposition. It was the very last thing that I wrote, and you may be able to relate to this, theres always one part of a book that writes itself, at least for me, where its like, I guess Ive been thinking about this long enough, I guess Ive been living this long enough that its all kind of been subconsciously forming, and now Im just about taking dictation here, and thats the way that was. You know, like it wasnt me. I love you both so much and was tickled to hear you together. You could do worse than to live by that one. Kelly Corrigan:But you know, if Im jumping in with my fancy solution two and a half minutes in, I just cut you off, and then we leave each other, and I have this little high like, Ah, I just really helped her, and she walks away thinking, She didnt hear anything I said. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. Kelly Corrigan:My instinct is to fix, cause I feel Im almost sure I can. Kelly Corrigan Wonders | iHeart Adjust the colors to reduce glare and give your eyes a break. Thank You for all you do!! Team Everything Happens. Stay healthy. Kelly Corrigan:My friend Andy Lotts, who is Lizs husband, told me about it, cause hes a mom now, and so we talk mom talk. Diana, So, I really appreciated the way that you framed the bigness and the smallness of it, because it has to be both. Sometimes, were just lacking a bit of language. Kate Bowler:Im Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. Today, Im speaking with New York Times bestselling author, Kelly Corrigan. I should not be mad about this. 295 Episodes Produced by Kelly Corrigan Website. Mary Hope wrote this thoughtful, open-hearted letter to her community to introduce her son Alex - who had previously been known to all as Jenna, her daughter. Kelly Corrigan:My instinct is to fix, cause I feel Im almost sure I can. Kate Bowler:Thanks so much for doing this. Kelly Corrigan:One that Ive always liked is, Things happen when you leave the house. I think I like the sense of theres something out there that you can tap into. Kelly Corrigan:Well you know, sometimes the trivial is tragic. Find me online at @KateCBowler, and Id love to hear what you think of this episode. Thanks For Being Here Remembering Ryland. Team Everything Happens, Kate, Thank you for adding to the number of not-normal, cry-at-the-drop-of-a-hat people in the world. Youve shared some gems with us. Kelly Corrigan:And then she died, and my dad called, and my dad had nothing but positive things to say to me my entire life, and he said, You should have gone to see your grandmother more.
